by Tom Dooley | 2015

Wyatt Earp once said: "The good Lord owes me an explanation for the things that have happened in my life". I think for many, over the course of history, that sentiment has passed across their lips as well.

I too have let that sentiment pass across my lips many times as I have lived this life. I have watched things go a certain way with no apparent explanation as to why. Like there is a divine hand making things so. Some good, others ridiculously awful.

Destiny or a guiding hand forcing one to do or experience things we had never sought. Often leaving us to attempt to explain the unexplainable.To look foolish, incompetent, irresponsible.

It is hard to understand sometimes when the divine 2x4 knocks you totally on your ass for no apparent reason, explanation or cause. So you sift through the ashes and attempt to hold your character in place, and have a little faith, as you regain your composure enough to discover you have just become the village idiot.

I have discovered that God is fierce when it comes to having his way in your life. God, it appears will stop at nothing to get his way, as Job discovered. God allowed Satan to destroy all of Job`s children. True or not, that is fricken harsh. Sure God restored all of Jobs material things but he did not restore Job`s children because they really weren`t dead and Job would see them again.

The most powerful sin in creation is pride. Pride took down Lucifer, the most powerful being God ever created without replicating itself. It appears that God deals with pride quite harshly. Especially when we are rebellious and will not humble ourselves.

I am guilty of pride and arrogance in noticeable and very subtle ways, and to be honest, I never really felt I was being so. I thought otherwise but as time passes I realize I am. It is easy to be deceived. I am quite remorseful I have been arrogant and prideful and hurt others and not realized it. However over the last few years I have been dealt with very sternly and harshly more so than in the past in an attempt to finally humble me to God`s satisfaction.

In the end, I have discovered though my own experience that the spirit of Satan may rule the world, but God`s will is always done. This is God`s creation and universe to do as God sees fit. God`s sovereignty is absolute, and God works for the total good, even if we cannot see it, measure it, understand it.

That is a hard pill to swallow when you lose that which you love or cherish, or harsh circumstances avalanche and bury you. A test of character and humbling experience for sure.

In the Book of James it discusses cultivating endurance. No shit. It takes a lot to keep moving on despite all the setbacks and troubles while remembering they are somehow for our benefit. To cultivate the faith needed to hold that firmly in mind as we endure the pain, torments, and afflictions we may face, and not to harden our hearts and become prideful and rebellious as if we are gonna overcome the teaching of God.

Despite the harshness there is mercy and forgiveness, and love at the end of it all in some fashion that cleanses our wounds and pain.

We somehow have to find ways to be kind to one another. We are all we have. Everyone is going through something, and making the best of a shitty situation, coping and dealing with things as best they can. Find some measure of empathy, compassion and caring for another.

I am on a mission to do better. I have hurt many I didn`t realize I was over time. I am glad I was given the ability to finally see and gain some understanding.